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Lester and the Lightning

June 3rd, 2008 @ 08:06am

Almost 20 years ago now, on a humid August morning during which one little storm after another rolled through the area where I lived south of Boston, there was all at once a flash, a crack, and a boom of thunder that told me the garage end of my house had been hit by lightning. It set the garage on fire in an instant, and smoke boiled its way under the screened porch roof into the windows. As I called 911, my quick-thinking fireman neighbor ran around closing the slider and the windows to reduce the amount of smoke damage. The firetruck finally arrived -- minutes really do seem like hours when flames are threatening to reach the can of gasoline you keep in the garage for the lawn mower -- and the firemen put the fire out in short order.

The first thing you check is your insurance policy and yes, it covered lightning damage. But it would be months before everything would be normal and routine again. Why did this happen?, my then-husband and I wondered aloud. In just days, he was about to start graduate school, and now he and I had to deal with firemen marching through our house feeling the walls for hidden flames, and complete strangers roaming our yard to see the damage and insurance adjusters and repair people. Our life had been turned upside down. Why did this happen? Why us?

Frustration turned to anger as we had to live for a while with the smell of smoke permeating our house, and fried wiring, and our inability to do any repairs until the insurance company made its decisions. We knew it could have been far worse but that seemed little consolation at the time. The lightning had hit the ground in the middle of the woods behind our house, raced along a vein of rock underground, exploded out of a raised-bed garden wall and split itself into two, carving jagged paths in the lawn and coming back together again just as it hit the garage. Lightning does not hesitate. It gets there and does its job. We found clumps of sod on the garage roof later. We were without power for days, as was the whole neighborhood. Worst of all, we were left with a sense of vulnerability. If lightning could hit our house, what else might happen?

The insurance company came through with a good check. To fix the smoke damage, we hired a couple from our church who had a cleaning business doing that, so they benefited. Another church member rewired our house and was thankful for the extra work. But who would rebuild the garage? We were at a loss.

That was, until another church friend asked if he could do it. Les had a background doing such work. He had lost his wife Nina to a sudden heart attack a couple of months before; she was part of the core of the church and everyone was devastated. Les was a wounded soul without her and no one knew how to console him. He was one of those old timers who could redo his plumbing as well as he could write an insurance policy, and he was just a good guy, so of course we said yes. He refused to talk about how we'd pay him for his time, putting it off until later.

Les took down the garage board by board because he could reuse some of the boards for other projects. He hand-dug the addition to the concrete pad so that it would meet the new building code. He rebuilt the garage, doubling its original size. He took time on details with wood that enriched the look, making it the nicest part of the house. It was a beauty a couple of months later when he was done. "Doing this for you helped me more than it helped you", he said in the end, refusing payment.

It was only then that we realized why the lightning hit our house and not someone else's. All that time and energy spent being frustrated, even angry, and wondering why, why, and why us?, and months later, when we saw that Les was healing, we knew why: it happened so we could help Les. And we actually were thankful for the lightning. Les remarried a year or so later and we liked to think it was in part because of this healing project.

So what does this have to do with job search? I think of Les and the lightning when a client, in great frustration, says "Why did I have to lose my job, why? Why me?" I tell them: "You may not know the reason now or even in a few months, but at some point, you will know it, and it will actually be a good one". They're usually surprised by this statement and doubtful, but they listen.

So I give them evidence that this is true, such as the story of the laid-off marketing manager whose extended layoff meant he could coach his son's soccer team, and actually spend time with his son and daughter. During that time, he refined his career goals, deciding to go into a nonprofit, and eventually landed a job at a university. He told me "My layoff was a gift". When he landed his new job, what faded was the financial pinch his long layoff presented; instead, he remembered playing a big role in raising his children. That was the gift, and one that his family will long remember and hold dear.

So if you are between jobs and making good use of this time, don't decry it. Instead, see it as a gift. Because it is.

Posted by Joanne Meehl | in The job search roller coaster, | No Comments »

Denial is a Good Thing

October 10th, 2008 @ 08:10am

Every morning this last week or so, we in the US awake to news that values in world markets have fallen yet again. And at the end of the workday, we hear about how our own markets continue to drop.

Notice I am not using words like plunge, plummet, crash, dive. The media are using them enough. One story this morning has it that General Motors is teetering. "How it goes for GM is how it goes for the country" is an old saying that we may see tested now. There's a gallows humor now among friends and co-workers who are saying to one another that now they'll never be able to retire.

So while times are scary, and I'm mostly addressing this to those in job search right now, I'm going to ask you to ignore what's going on and be in denial.

Huh?

Certainly if you're a financial planner or stockbroker, denial is impossible. But for most people, "keep on keeping on" is the best path. Companies are still hiring. Clients are still interviewing, jobs are still being posted. There are many healthy companies that are creating things we all need and that others are still buying.

I say this because there's a temptation among those in job search to sit back and wait. Many tasks in job search take energy to do them, and it's easier to say, with all this bad news swirling around us, "Let me see what it will be like after the holidays" or "Maybe I should take time off now because I'll need that time and energy when things really get bad".

Don't do either of those. First, everyone in job search waits until after the holidays to job search, so beat the rush by continuing your search this fall and into the holidays if necessary. But aside from that, I would recommend some healthy denial right now. As in "Everything is fine, I'm going to just keep doing what I'm doing".

Denial because if you become obsessed with all that's going on, your worry will start to filter into your psyche and your language , and then you'll start telegraphing that in your interviews and networking meetings.

The person who gets hired is the one who is "steady as she goes", whether you're a CEO, secretary, Project Manager, or social worker.

So take it one day at a time and keep up all that great activity. You have gifts that some lucky employer out there needs, now you just have to let them know you're there.

Posted by Joanne Meehl | in The job search roller coaster, | No Comments »

Being yourself...and a little bit more

November 22nd, 2008 @ 12:11pm

During a phone meeting with a client I'll call Mike, I was urging him to energize his job search, not only in casting his net a bit wider but in his comments about himself. Mike has more talent than he believes he has, and listened to me patiently as I enthused about this with him.

On the day of his appointed check-in a couple of weeks later, Mike emailed me to say not much had been going on with his search. He did what he'd committed to do, and apologized that he hadn't done more networking. Then his email said something that shook me: "I think you want me to be something other than what I am... but I'm just not the kind of person who finds it easy to do this. So I hope I'm not disappointing you."

First, I felt terrible that I had somehow made him think that he needed to be something other than who he really is. That is the last thing I want a client to think. I truly believe each person has his or her gifts, and limitations. My role is to help them work with that, work with who they are, so that they communicate their successes to a potential employer and get hired. And this is really what works. Anything else is dishonest, and I don't "do" dishonest, not only because it's intrinsically wrong, but because it's not the way people land jobs they are happy with in the long run.

And that he felt he'd disappointed me -- the person he's hired to help him get his next job -- made me feel terrible. Not for me, but for him, for his feeling that he had to live up to a standard I've set. When it's really me working for him. I give clients assignments and we agree on goals, and as I do so, I remind them this is for them, and that these tasks are what makes the difference and what will help them get interviews and offers. And it works.

So here's this decent, hardworking guy apologizing to me when he shouldn't have been.

But. Yes, but. We do live in a tough job market, and my awareness of what employers are doing or not doing, as well as the trends and areas of growth and decline, create an ongoing pressure on the searches my clients are doing. So I do push them, I do get enthusiastic for my clients. So many have so much to offer. And too many don't see it. I usually succeed in helping them see it, and they are grateful. Things they take for granted -- a great attitude, a strong work ethic, approachability by those who report to them, agility with newness and change -- I point out, are things that are sought after by employers. And they are surprised, because they figure everyone else has these qualities, don't they? No, they don't. So while they find it difficult to speak well of themselves, I teach them, and they grow in that way too. It's uncomfortable at first, but it's the edge you need today.

So with Mike, I thanked him for his frank comments and apologized for making him feel like he had to be something other than himself. And clarified that in no way do I want him to be "something else". But that he has to continue to try new things.

In today's volatile market and ever-rising layoff numbers, people need to stretch by setting up one more networking meeting, and to continue to believe in themselves even when it seems they're making little progress. It's because it's competitive out there, and a potential employer hears that energy in their voice -- your voice -- when they call to do a screening interview on the phone. And they hear the lack of it, too.

As I always say, my clients are my best teachers. This time, Mike taught me that I can push, but that I can't push too hard. Given the market conditions, it's a delicate balance. And tough to achieve.

Posted by Joanne Meehl | in Job Search, The job search roller coaster, | No Comments »

The Sandwich Maker

January 25th, 2009 @ 04:01pm

Too often I see people in job search, upon hitting a snag in their search, suddenly develop thoughts about another career. Sometimes this is sparked by a jaunty ad on TV about courses beginning at a nearby school, with programs that promise instant employment. The job seeker thinks, "Maybe if I do that job, I'll get back to work sooner and with less pain." So they stall their search to explore The Alternative Career, getting lost in the requirements for various positions, doing salary research, and checking out job postings. They imagine their lives simpler, more rewarding. They see themselves having happier days on the job and more placid evenings.

Perhaps looking at postings for a job they picture for themselves gives solace to them because the postings they've been applying for haven't borne fruit.

Whatever it's called, it is a symptom of "the grass is greener" syndrome. It's an escape from reality break.

Once, about 25 years ago, I had a new sales job that was extremely pressured, and every day I faced training in methods and technologies that were foreign to me. There was constant studying and paperwork. It seemed I would never learn everything, and that I would never be competent enough to succeed. I was miserable. One day for lunch, I went with some of my colleagues to a sandwich shop where, after placing my order, I watched with envy as the young woman deftly made my sandwich. She wrapped it up, marked it with the price code, handed it to me, wiped her hands, and went on to the next sandwich. Total competence. Simple success. And a complete contrast to my agonizing, groping job existence.

In that moment, I totally envied her. Her job was so simple! She had the satisfaction of making her customers happy, she succeeded in every step of the job, and she had no paperwork or goals to account for. She went home at the end of the day with not a care in the world. Sure, I made two or three times what she did, but right then, I was willing to give that up for what looked like career nirvana.

Fortunately, I finally began to "get" my new job, and the pieces began to fit. My hard work was paying off. While I still went to the sandwich shop, and still had admiration for this sandwich maker, I realized that my envy of her rose and fell depending on how I was doing at work that day. It became a barometer for me, and even when I left that job for another, I've often thought of that sandwich maker as an example of an escape from career reality that I badly needed at the time.

Of course, I would have quickly become bored making sandwiches. But the thought provided me with enough of an escape that it was healing in a way. So I understand when the Operations Manager begins to think about nursing, or the Corporate Trainer goes online to sign up for a course in engineering.

To those who are enjoying some escapism, I'd say: It's OK. It's normal. But don't leave a career that still has promise for a possibility that may not be much more than an escape from reality. To test out the new idea, you should do some real research of that alternative career before jumping ship: talk with lots of people who already do the job, to learn about it from the inside. Otherwise you could be leaving behind a worthy career that you've built so well over the years -- for grass that won't stay green.

Posted by Joanne Meehl | in Job Search, The job search roller coaster, | No Comments »

Tears in Minnesota -- and everywhere else

February 14th, 2009 @ 03:02pm

I've been there, on exactly this day in 2003, so I know what it's like: you go through the motions as you put the dinner plates on the table, as you feed the dog, go through the mail without being able to read a thing, knowing that any time now, your spouse will be home and you'll have to say, Today I was laid off.

You will have to watch their face, and your kids' faces, as they take it in. Lost your job? Wow. Lost your job, really? The silence. Then, Are you OK?, to which you lie and say "Yeah."

Later, you talk about the vacation or the lake house and how now we should probably change our plans for the summer, just in case. Just in case. You don't want to say it: Just in case I don't find another job soon.

Yes, you think, I'll be getting unemployment, and they're sending us to outplacement for help with the resume and so forth. We have some savings, but that was for the future, not now. What will I do? I was supposed to retire from there, or at least work another few years there. Now what?

Sure, it's been in the news about layoffs. But you, laid off? At your company, which hardly ever has had a layoff? Isn't this supposed to happen to other people?

You tell your friends in a day or so, and they reassure you that it's not you, it's the times, you can't take this personally. Except you do take it personally, even if 50 or 500 people went with you. After all, it's your paycheck that's now gone.

And once you're gone and someone else is now doing the work they made you leave on your desk, and you are driving past a Starbucks and see someone on line there on a break from work, with their company ID key card dangling off their hip, you feel envy that you no longer have a key card or a company or a job to go to. And you realize you took all that for granted.

There is no way around this pain. And yes, I will tell you although you don't want to hear it, you will go through all the other stages of loss and grief. Someone has put names to them because they are real, and you will experience every one of them. It's necessary. Go with it.

But know this: you will get through it. It won't be easy, and you will be challenged in ways you never knew. But: you will find others in the same situation who have moved through the first steps, and their example tells you that you will move ahead just like they have. You'll find that networking group that fits and maybe a coach to help you avoid the rocks and rapids and you'll meet new people who will be glad to meet you and who you'd never have met if you were still working. And you'll learn about the job market today, and you will begin to burn with something new: a ferocity about what's ahead. And you'll begin to believe it, no matter what the headlines say: that you will find a new job, maybe even a better one than you had.

Years from now, in your new job or maybe the one after that, you'll still remember the date of your layoff, especially if you were at your company a long time. But the pain will have faded. And you will have a good, or very good, or even great new job. You still see friends from back then, who were laid off with you, and they've made it past, too. And you'll get to enjoy the lake house again and at the little shop in the town nearby, the one that sells cabin decor and shoelace licorice and shot glasses with moose and loons on them, they will have one of those inspirational magnets that says "Whether you think you can or think you can't, you're right", and you will smile. Because you learned you can. And everything is OK.

Posted by Joanne Meehl | in Change, The job search roller coaster, | No Comments »

The Uncertainty of the Job Search

October 23rd, 2009 @ 08:10am

Recently I spoke with the spouse of a prospective client, something I welcome because I can answer questions from their perspective. Given that I use a certain process, during which things tend to happen at certain points, she was asking "So when would he have a resume?" and "When would he be interviewing?" Behind the questions, certainly, was some amount of anxiety, given the economy and, I'm sure, family finances.

One thing I always remember is that when I work with individuals, I'm really working with the whole family, because it's the family that's hurting from the loss of income, and it the family who benefits when the person lands the new job. What she wanted was guarantees. I would love it if I could give those. But there are just too many variables to honestly be able to do that: what's going to happen this week in the stock market, what will the candidate really do with his or her weekly goals, and so on.

One thing I can guarantee is that using a job search process that has been refined and constantly tested by many others, the chances are high that a candidate's search will probably be shorter and less painful. I can guarantee that sometimes how a hiring manager thinks can be unpredictable, that aspects of the search will make no sense at times, that using today's technology will help a candidate, and that trying to find a good job without networking is extremely difficult.

In other words, I can guarantee frustration and hard work until the candidate hears the wonderful words, "We'd like to make you a job offer."

So like the cat who eventually comes down from the tree, her husband will land. But the part of the search that's in his hands is how good a job he gets, not just any job, by doing the good work necessary for landing it. That's the only thing that guarantees a candidate gets as close as they can to their goal.

Posted by Joanne Meehl | in Job Search, The job search roller coaster, | No Comments »

Five Ways to Avoid Self-Sabotage in Your Job Search

June 28th, 2010 @ 08:06pm

Posted by Joanne Meehl | in Career coaching, Change, Job Search, Networking, resumes, The job search roller coaster, Your time, | No Comments »

Cheating the Heartless Job Search

June 16th, 2011 @ 04:06pm

I have fantastic helpers at Face2Face, my Minneapolis-based job search networking group for the public. These helpers do a majority of the setup, the take-down, and even keep their ears open for feedback I don't hear, not to mention offering some great ideas that we've put into place. And the helpers are in job search themselves.

One of these is Kathy, who earlier this week lost her golden retriever to cancer. This, on top of the fact that Kathy's mother is ill and Kathy traveled to take time out of her job search to care for her. And between Kathy's gigs doing contract work, she is in job search. Today I could see that she was preoccupied and trying her best to be the usually cheerful greeter that she always is. I could tell it was tough.

The networking cluster part of our program began so I took over at the registration table so that Kathy could participate. It was then that a client and member of the group, Carol, came in, late from another meeting. She looked harried. "I guess I'm preoccupied with the news that we just learned that our golden retriever has cancer and has only 2-3 months to live. We are devastated." I was stunned by the similarity to Kathy's situation so I told her about it. "You may want to talk with one another", I offered, and she said she would, gladly.

Job search is an unforgiving time and it seems that only bad things happen. Another group member had his bank account hacked and had to notify every vendor and every account of his new account number, etc. Some payments then bounced, causing more aggravation. This took him about three days, full-time, to straighten out, time that would be far better spent on his job search.

Then there are the new tires you have to get, or the house A/C system quits, or a storm takes off your roof and your insurance deductible is so big that a repair decimates your savings. It always seems to happen only during your job search, adding insult to injury.

But if the job search were a person, s/he would say, "So? You want me to put life on hold for you? I don't think so."

You can't put everything on hold, so you forge on, taking all the interviews you can, despite your heart aching about your dog and will you be there if she dies today, or wondering how you're going to pay for those tires, and is your child's fever getting so high that you'll need to take her to the doctor. Smile, shake hands, make it happen.

The job search is heartless that way. It's very "me first". It is a demanding master: Let up for a week on your networking, and you'll have two to three weeks of other numbers lower than they need to be. Become preoccupied with your sick mother or dying dog, and your interviews suffer. So you force yourself to buck up. Because unless you take care of your search, you'll have an even longer one.

I told Kathy about Carol and the two met, hugging instead of shaking hands. For the next several minutes, they were inseparable, helping each other get through a tough time.

Later, Carol told me "I have to believe I was meant to have this time off to be with my sweet dog...".

So sometimes you can cheat the heartless job search out of its cruelty. Meaning, it can bring together people in positive ways you don't count on, helping one another in ways you never expected. It's like the storm that wrecks part of a city, but which prompts the outpouring of volunteers: You see how the goodness of people can overcome anything.

Even a cruel job search.

Posted by Joanne Meehl | in Job Search, Networking, The job search roller coaster, | No Comments »

Do Hours = Effectiveness?

June 17th, 2011 @ 09:06pm

This week I saw a job hunt group email discussion about the best amount of time to spend on a search each week.

One person wrote this:

"I might spend 2 hours on a busy day. Most of that checking job boards/emails. I haven't had much traction with informal interviews or researching target companies."

He was joking, right? Unfortunately, no. His search will last a long, long time because in this still-volatile job market, it's ineffective. Here, ineffective means too one-dimensional, too brief, too PC-dependent.

Another person responded that she uses 50 hours a week to search, and listed a wide variety of activities, much better than the one-dimensional search of the first respondent. She listed networking groups for those between jobs and many online activities, and "some" networking. That's getting there, but those are way too many hours and can lead to burnout. If she shifts many of the online hours to in-person networking with employed people in his field, she'll be exposed to far more possibilities than she is now.

My answer is to do 25 effective hours a week. "Effective" means having a variety of approaches that are more heavily weighted toward being with live people than on the computer.

Why? Because it's what's working. Since 2009, when hiring began again after a devastating 2008, right through to this week, the people I'm seeing landing great, new jobs, are doing it by connecting with other people, live.

What does your search look like?

_____________________________________________________

Need to know better how to connect with those who can help you in your search? Then go here.

Posted by Joanne Meehl | in Job Search, job search strategy, Networking, resumes, The job search roller coaster, | No Comments »

Don't Wait for the Job Postings Tidal Wave -- or You'll Miss Getting a Job

July 29th, 2011 @ 07:07pm

From time to time hiring warms up and candidates get hopeful that finally, things are "back to normal". People around them are landing, and they see more jobs posted. Finally, the tidal wave of openings is coming back! Or is it?

All indications are that just as 2008 changed the economy for the last 2-3 years, it will have changed it *permanently*.

And that means that job seekers will not see any big wave of openings like there used to be. Yes, there are rare exceptions in certain locations and certain markets. But generally speaking, there will be no big rising tide that will lift all job search boats automatically.

Think about why: Today, companies are much more savvy about finding candidates in other ways, mostly by depending on current employees to find them. They are also attracting future employees through social media and inbound marketing. Their own screening systems are getting more and more sophisticated.

Yes, this month I've seen more job postings AND more job landings in my contact world than since the end of 2008. But 95% of those who've landed -- yes, a full 95% of them -- have come through networking, not by answering job postings and waiting for a response.

And just this week, Delta Airlines announced a workforce reduction of 2,000...and Boston Scientific announced cuts of 1,400 jobs. Despite there being some more postings lately, the cuts continue, unfortunately. One step forward, one back.

Lesson? Those who are looking must network: It's how people are landing jobs. If they continue to wait instead at their computer for the mythical wave of openings, they'll likely miss getting a job anytime soon. I've seen executives make this mistake as much as individual contributors.

So there's good news: With networking, you have more control over your search than you've ever had before.

So take control. Don't wait for waves that aren't coming.

____________________________________

Stuck in your search and not sure how to break free? Contact Joanne Meehl.

Posted by Joanne Meehl | in Job Search, job search strategy, Networking, resumes, The job search roller coaster, Your time, | No Comments »

Conquer those Monday morning job search blues

September 25th, 2011 @ 10:09pm

Whether you're IN a job or between jobs, Monday mornings during job search can be tough.

You're in a job and can't wait to find a new one. So Monday mornings are a reminder you're still stuck where you are.

You could be a new grad who's overwhelmed and doesn't know where to start, and each Monday means you're wondering where to begin.

Or you're between jobs and Monday mornings remind you that there is no office to go to. Especially if you're a manager or executive, your energy has nowhere to land for the day. The sense of loss is profound and can be powerfully dispiriting.

This is Monday Morning Syndrome. Or the Monday Morning Job Search Blues.

How to beat the blues? Here are a few ideas.

- Get out of the house! Getting out of your house or apartment, and being at the library or local cafe, will reset your energy. Bring your laptop or tablet and make a list of target contacts for the next week or two, or do research on companies, for example.

- Schedule networking meetings for that time slot. Make good use of Monday morning; don't use it to start planning your week, something you should have done last week. You'll have that to look forward to instead of an empty, lonely morning.

- Meet with a job search "buddy" at a coffee shop, each with your own set of goals set from the week before. See how you each did with your own goals, and how you rewarded yourselves for meeting your goals.

- On Friday, Saturday, and Sunday, send invitations to contacts to do networking meetings this week. As a client of mine, Jim, says, "The replies will come in on Monday, making your email that morning full of replies, and many will be 'yes'. It's great!"

- For those IN jobs who are always struggling with inadequate time for their search, working with a job search coach can keep you on track will give you a sense of "I'm doing something for myself and my search", instead of you having yet another week slip by.

What about YOUR ideas?

_______________________________

Shake the blues: talk with Joanne about how you can manage your search so that YOU are in charge, not your emotions. Contact her today at www.TheJobSearchQueen.com.

Posted by Joanne Meehl | in Career coaching, Change, Job Search, job search strategy, Networking, The job search roller coaster, Your time, | 2 Comments »