SECRET #1 OF THIS CAREER COACH: I HELP KEEP CLIENTS HONEST

My clients are in job search. In other words, they are candidates for jobs.

 

The first conversation with each person who I might work with, starts out with me asking what they want next.

 

The answer is almost always something like, “I want a culture that is 100% about the company’s goals, my goals. Where people are valued, where everyone actually works together…and successes are celebrated…” Some might talk vaguely of their current role and changes happening that are not for the better, so it’s time. For some, it may BE time to leave or they will be thought of later as getting too comfortable thus not being challenged or not advancing, because “advancing” (meaning, going to the next level) is assumed in the US culture.

 

Then I ask you, just to make sure: So there’s no other place in the organization that would be a better fit for you? The answer, even if some think about that for a couple of seconds, is almost always No.

 

Now I push: So why do you really want to leave where you are? It sounds like you’d be giving up a lot, given your accomplishments and successes there.

 

You finally tell me: “My new boss is an arrogant, closed-minded, selfish jerk.”

 

The old saying “People go to companies for the company, but leave because of their manager” always comes to mind at those moments. I still hear this more than any other reason.

 

Like some marriages where damage has been done, there is no going back, and you the employee now sees only one option, just wants to leave. Time for a new role at a new place. Time to re-create your future.

 

When you have arrived at this spot, I know you are motivated to do this project called job search.

 

And if we decide to work together, here’s the first thing I ask for: Please sketch out for me your ideal job and your ideal company. The two overlap and often cannot be teased apart.

 

The simple way I ask you to format this exercise enables us to picture clearly the goal of your search.

 

We then go over every point. The company. The tasks. The joys. The 10% or 20% items that you won’t like as much but in every job there’s always some crappy stuff. The new successes you are after. How you’ll apply your amazing skills and talents.

 

I do this so you clearly state what you want: to yourself.

 

And I test your commitment: are you ready to go after this? Ready to revise your marketing, ready to research companies, ready to network your butt off, ready to ask for more salary than you’ll be offered, ready to deal with some “no” on the way to “yes”?

 

I want to know if you want it badly.

 

And you do.

 

And then I hold you to it.

 

How? I bring it up to you: “This role you’re applying for supports all the items you want in your next job, next company”. Or, “This role sounds like it’s positioned just where you want to be in your next career step, so let’s talk about ways you can confirm this…”

 

But sometimes things get hard. Companies where you think you’ll get an interview, don’t respond. The team you DO interview with at another dream company, sound disjointed and unhappy, so you’re turned off. Or the hiring manager’s boss is a miserable ass worse than the manager you’re leaving.

 

That’s when you can start to get dishonest. You start saying, “Well maybe I’m just not ready for the next step so I’ll look for a job just like the one I have”. (Potential employers will spot this and wonder what’s really going on.)

 

Or, “Maybe this is telling me that I should look at a smaller salary…” (Potential hiring managers will be puzzled over this “dropping back” and since it’s easier to just move on to the next candidate, they do, and you’ll never know…)

 

Or, “Maybe I should post my resume everywhere so that some recruiter will find me…”  (Viewed as desperate and lacking strategy)

 

None of those options are viable for the candidate trying them on out loud. And I’ll call you on it because I know you want to stay on goal.

 

And where someone’s strategy has had to change because of a major change in their lives, of

course, we adjust and even redefine the goal.

 

But when such major factors are not in play, this is where I will say, “Let’s review what you told me (and committed to as your goal) just a few weeks ago, as your target? As what you REALLY want?” And: “Are you giving up already?! You just began your search, you’re really just getting started. Stick with it and you WILL get to where you want.”

 

The client almost always says, after taking a deep breath: “You’re right. None of those options would work. I guess I’m just feeling discouraged. I didn’t know it would take this long/be this hard/a new job has always come easily to me.”

 

Ah, something else that has changed.

 

These down moments are understandable, of course. As someone who’s been laid off twice, and having a spouse laid off 5 months after being hired in 2017, I’ve certainly been there. And can feel your pain.

 

So I typically review some of your successes with you, show you how significant those are, urge you to jot down a couple more to remind yourself how good you really are at what you do.

 

And I’ll tell you to take a break from your search for 48 hours, reward yourself during that break, and ask your sister-in-law about the colleague she mentioned that she wanted to introduce to you – go for it! Drop back a bit in order to go forward again. Catch your breath.

 

All those steps will keep you aimed at your goal.

 

And that aim will keep you honest.